Reconcile rather than compete

Manisha Tibrewal
6 Min Read


“बहुत ही बेचैनियां पाली हमने

 एक सुकून की तलाश में…”

“Bahut hi Bechainiyan pali humne

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Ek sukun to talash me…”

It translates to following:

“We have kept palpitations close to our heart in search of just peace.

We are in the moment of human evolution when we often hear the words women-empowerment, women-right, and gender-discrimination. These all were necessary for the good. It brought a lot of changes to women’s life.  Greater goodness is achieved or in process of getting accomplished. However, there is also a downside. Sometimes these are merely uttered as text and not easily absorbed, comprehended, and assimilated which leaves the majority of society entangled in a murky web of the words.

Women have become part of the race to prove their capability and they have made indelible marks. Slowly, women have made entry to the area which happened to be niche areas for males: defense, politics, science, or even space. Desire to prove capability, excel in the field of fellow counterparts remained women’s preference.  Such steps lead to noticeable repercussions as the men get daunted with the immense pace of development in the world of women. Men felt a creeping sense of insecurity and tried to nudge directly or indirectly to maintain the status quo.

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In addition, the male is still adamant and not willing to switch and share the role like household chores which happened to be primarily accomplished by women in the past. This is not at all an exceptional case; however, it has become a common situation for every household.  What pushes males to not taking responsibility for household chores? Is the thought of being supreme and consideration of chores as a menial and diminutive task still haunts their mind?

Let’s look at our scriptures which had been shaping the thoughts of the society. The basis of our culture is ‘Ardhanarishwar’.

As Ardhanarishvar, Shiva is a symbol of man and woman of shakti (power). In midst of modern societal evolution, we forgot that Shiva is capable only when he is associated or exists in conjunction with shakti. Shiva takes the pledge, Shakti proves it.  The same philosophy is the foundation of nature and human existence as well. Nature is dependent for their genesis and growth on Shiva and Shakti which is synonymous with woman and man. When ‘Ardhanarishwar’ is the basis of nature, then the battle for our existence or depiction of either, male or female, as supreme creatures, associating jobs to lowly, or existence of one without acknowledging other is just a stark reminder of meaninglessness.

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God have envisioned and created both of us. Both are partial and incomplete without other.  They can become full and complete with the support and handholding of one-another. It all has some fundamental reasons — we both can fill the deficiency of another and move in tandem and bring the life to a moment of immense joy and satisfaction. Neither male is complete without women and so the women.

This is my simplistic point of view: relationship of husband and wife is like two wheels of life’s cart. To keep the cart pacing ahead, their mutual balance is significantly important. For this mutual harmony, men should respect the work of women. And women should also adopt a path of reconciliation, instead of a fight for equality. Such thoughts of reconciliation, equanimity, and avoid fight for equality will bring positive energy to the society and have significant potential to increase the faith in the relationship. There is a Hindi poem which goes as follows:

असल में पति-पत्नी होते हैं

गाड़ी के दो पहिए समान

जितना नारी आगे बढ़े

पुरुषों को देना चाहिए सम्मान

 घर पुरुष का भी है

इसके काम करने में कैसा अपमान

 दोनों मिलकर जहां सामंजस्य बिठाते

आदर्श पति पत्नी वही कहलाते |

It is translated in following words:

Actually, husband and wife are just two wheels of the life’s cart.

The more and more women progress, men should come forward and appreciate their efforts. The house is also of man and there should not be shame and stigma if males carry out household chores. There is a need for efforts to work together. There is a need for efforts to reconcile rather than compete against others. These efforts will recreate the idea of the ideal husband and wife in contemporary society.

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