Laxman Sivaramakrishnan Opens Up About Racism in Indian Dressing Room and Finding Solace in West Indies’ Change Room
Former Indian cricketer Laxman Sivaramakrishnan has opened up about the racism he faced during his early career, including troubling experiences within the Indian dressing room. Despite making his Test debut at a young age of 17, Sivaramakrishnan found more acceptance among West Indies players than within his own team. He shared how these experiences shaped his self-esteem and confidence throughout his career, highlighting both the camaraderie he found abroad and the discrimination he encountered at home.
Comfort in the Caribbean
Sivaramakrishnan’s debut Test series in the West Indies was marked by a surprising sense of belonging. He recalled feeling more at ease among the Caribbean players than in his own team environment. “Everybody’s skin colour was on the darker side. They were very happy people,” he stated in an interview with Indian Express. Notable players like Desmond Haynes and the late Malcolm Marshall took him under their wing, often inviting him out for social activities. Sivaramakrishnan fondly remembered how they would explore Jamaica, Trinidad, and Barbados together. Their friendship provided him with a sense of normalcy and support during a pivotal time in his career.
Encounters with Racism
While Sivaramakrishnan found acceptance among West Indies players, he faced discrimination within the Indian cricket setup. He recounted a particularly humiliating incident when a senior player mistook him for ground staff and asked him to clean his shoes. “I just looked at him and said, ‘That’s none of my business,'” he recalled. Such experiences were not isolated; they were compounded by derogatory comments from teammates and crowds during matches. Sivaramakrishnan described how these incidents affected his self-esteem, stating that they left a lasting impact on him. He expressed a deep sense of hurt each time he faced such discrimination, which made it challenging for him to build confidence as a young athlete.
Support from Fellow Players
Sivaramakrishnan also highlighted moments of solidarity from fellow players, including Gordon Greenidge, who shared his own experiences with racism. Greenidge’s openness about his struggles resonated with Sivaramakrishnan, who appreciated the camaraderie that transcended racial barriers. He noted that even during his birthday celebration on the 1983 tour of Pakistan, a teammate made a racially insensitive comment about his skin color while celebrating with a cake. Such remarks only reinforced the challenges he faced, both on and off the field.
Long-lasting Effects
Reflecting on his journey, Sivaramakrishnan acknowledged the long-term effects of these experiences on his mental health. He admitted that the hurt from these incidents lingered, impacting his self-esteem throughout his career. “I always wanted to forget, forget, forget but deep down, it’s always rooted,” he explained. The challenges he faced as a young cricketer shaped his outlook on the sport and life, making it difficult to cultivate the confidence necessary for success. His story serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of inclusivity and support in sports, highlighting the need for ongoing conversations about racism in cricket and beyond.
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